When I think back on all the crap I ate in high school

I had breakfast at school for the first time today cause we were out of food at home. It bited.

I had a bagel there. I don't eat bagels anymore. I have a little theory on how they're manfactured.

Directions for bagel-making:

1. Remove old school desks from basement and place in blender.

2. When pulpification is achieved, open bagel molds and pour.

3. Let set for a week or until dry.

4. Remove bagels from mold and warm by placing squarely between cheeks of lunch ladies.

5. Insert bagel into sandwich bag and serve.

Maybe that's why they hire obese lunch ladies (they can fit multiple bagels at a time).

Has anyone ever been to TC3 in Dryden? Seen the food court? Me too. They have franchises of the following businesses IN THE CAFETERIA:

-Arby's
-Pizza Hut
-Subway
-Burger King

Yes folks, just like the mall. I'm not saying it'd be the healthiest way to eat, but it'd be an impovement over current conditions at CHS :)

a plagiarized stab at political satire

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?

The Answer is SEVEN:

1. one to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced

2. one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb,

3. one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb,

4. one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs,

5. one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb,

6. one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,

7. and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

More political satire and commentary soon to come...

More Venting

Hmm, it appears that we've had a bout of shiny weather here in Cortland, like we've skipped Spring and went directly from winter to Summer. Damn, I hope summer won't be unbearably hot, considering that it's hot already. I am still appalled with our school: did you know that it's legal for them to scan any student at any time with a metal detector, rig it so it goes off automatically, and use that as grounds for a strip-search? If you are an athlete or involved in any school athletics program, the school is allowed to test you for drugs involuntarily: yes, folks, that means extracting a urine sample or its equivalent without telling you first. Schools can legally set up a 2-way mirror IN THE BATHROOM and watch your every move. Don't get me wrong: schools have ALREADY GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT. And "step up surveillance" as Mr. Doughty said on Thursday... what's that supposed to mean? It's only a matter of time before our school administration starts to practice these horrible invasions of privacy. What can you do? Tell people: cause interest in the subject. It seems peculiar that there isn't more media attention. It seems like there's this obsession among teachers and administration about student health and select contriversial issues, ones that fit their political agenda. I don't know if I can even count the amount of times in a day I hear about student mental health, or some of these weird maladies (I bet they make up most of 'em) that you can get by engaging in unscrupulous love-making. Perhaps we should start an after-school discussion group not on some wussy health crap, but on student rights in our local CJSHS. They're required by law to let us have an after-school discussion group, as that's one right we do have, as part of the equal access act of 19-somethingorother. I'm surprised there's even a couple books in the library about student rights. Perhaps they were donated. Write to the paper or something, or do sme research and make another web site about this, and give people at school the address. As always, mail me with your comments or ideas! Bye

Wow its been a week since my last post

Hello all, and sorry I haven't posted in a while (I've been busy), but now I'm back at it (partially thanks to my new Palm Keyboard- Yay!)and my boredom for the last hour. Thanks to David for becoming a poster! Now, I have an interesting topic, primarily one that deserves more media attention.

The climate, as far as student rights is concerned, is shaping up, although we still have a long ways to go. The issue I am specifically concerned about is freedom of speech and the press, an area where my local CJSHS is lacking. To quote the student code of conduct, "Posting and/or distribution of printed matter shall require prior district approval". Yes, there are creative ways around that, but I sense a high level of censorship in the "public forums" of the school. Perhaps the way around this is excercising your freedom of speech at home in the form of posting materials online, then communicating the web address by word-of-mouth. There have been several higher-court cases which ruled in favor of the students on such occasions. "Why do I want freedom of speech and the press?", some would ask, and I hope to inspire you to yearn for it.

I begin with a question: What do you hate most about your school? Most of you probably come up with a split-second answer, whether it's the instructional staff or administration, or perhaps something less obvious such as transportation or cafeteria food. Whatever it is, it's soething you'd like to change, isn't it? Maybe you've talked to your friends about it and they concur. Maybe you've tried to discuss it with the staff and it's fallen on deaf ears. Now, according to the United States Constitution, the ideal way to address the issue is to introduce it to public forums, spread the word. The problem with most of today's schools is that they punish students for this on a regular basis, another issue that needs to be corrected. It is unconstitutional for you to be disciplined for exercising your freedom of speech. If you're interested, see me or check out a good book from the LMC, "A reference guide to Student rights" or some-att like that. See y'all tomorrow

Help meeee

I am soo pore and I have no money. Can somebody gimme some please? Thank you

Español

I am writing this in the computer lab in Spanish class. I love the lab cause from some places its relly hard for the teacher to see your screen. I can't wait to go home and talk to my computer, the only friend I have lol, bye all

READ THIS

Nobody "blewed their load" in my hair, its GEL! I'll post a picture this afternoon. Thank y'all.

cool beans talking

Wow. I am writing this blog entry on this nifty software where you talk into it and it writes down what you say. I'm not exactly sure what to talk about right now but I'm having fun with this software. It is still a little bit slow but it is supposed to get faster as I talk into it more. It came with this new instruction manual that tells me how to use it. I have a cold right now so it is not working very well right now. But I hope that will work better as my nose clears up. I hate school. School sucks just like everything else I'm forced to attend. Well, I suppose once I AM 16 I can quit, but that would be kind of a waste. I don't think I'm smelly. Neither does anybody else. I suppose eventually I will get philosophical here, so it might as well be now. It seems like its easier to philosophical when you're talking, rather than typing. Perhaps the meaning of life is to ponder the meaning of life. Perhaps that's why even God never answer that question fully. Perhaps the meaning of life isn't the same for everyone, but we have to find our own. Well I know that I've found my own. I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you. No, I'm just kidding, lol. Hey, this program even recognizes the word lol. I thought this program was made before the word lol was invented. Let me try some tough words and phrases to see if it gets it. &''s*@`\^>}]"'): comment -- $.... =!/> of the | _ ~8 /; right parentheses] read this quotation mark%% percent I'm percent sign%%% stupid head DOS gang at all. The option gang at all DOS should thank it all will move it will not say DOS gang at all I shall have to program it. Gosh dangit-all hey it works now. This is shiny. DOS dangit-all DOS dangit-all this stupid things as DOS instead of DOS DOS DOS I have the program this linen gosh dangit-all hey it works good Poop Poop Poop hey, it even recognizes the word Poop. Poop Poop Poop this is so much fun I get this a Poop and it writes down what I say! By the way I didn't type one single word in this entry. Isn't that weird? I feel like them on Star Trek were they talk to the computer. Well, I must be going to eat supper now. Goodbye. Poop hee hee!

A Scary Thought

According to the school budget, they spend 9 grand a year on each student. That means that the school spends $50 each day on each student. The school is shelling out $7.70 per hour just for you. This includes all grades (K-12). Now my question is, if so much money is being spent on us, why does the lunch food taste so crappy? Why is there rarely a decent roll of TP? Why do we have to bring in our own tissues, buy our own science review books? Why does the printer cost so #%$@ much? Why does the bus smell?

I think we need to find out exactly where this money goes. I wonder if the school budget is public? However it works, I'm sure I could make it better.

Somebody Do something to me

I don't much care... chase me, give me money, slap me, show me something cool, tell me a joke, become my friend, steal my stuff, anything so I have something interesting to post here about.

Librarians

Theyre so anal "Get on something educational or get off" that kind of anal and they sneak up on you when you're not looking and say "boo" and catch you playing games or posting bloggage that complains about them. Everything's educational once you think about it. If they look the other way, it'd be easier on them? BAH.

I got really wasted last night

Got your attention, eh? good, now to my real topic:
Life isn't fair because all these rich kids have loads of cash to fritter away on every little whim while I have a hard time raising 21 bucks to buy a sinken kee-bored! Somebody adopt me into there rich kids family please! Or at least tell me how ta become a rich kid!

A Word to Aspiring post-ers

Think you're groovy-cool enough to post upon this beloved blog? I do too. If you'd like to post, however, you must e-mail me with a short note, including the following:

a. Who you are (I probably know you anyways)
b. Why you'd make a groovy-cool post-er
c. What y'all'll be posting
d. what you know about be

Thank you, and I look foreword to your messages!

School is queer

Why do the other 2 social studies classes get to go on a groovy field trip and we don't? Instead we had a worksheet and my mom for a sub. Why can't they take 2 classes and me? P.S. I sould blog in poems...

Help!

What should I blog? What should I blog?
Twinkeys from Mars, inside-out frogs?
Mail me if you have any ideers...
How the crap do ya rhyme that?
Oh, yeah, MAIL ME YOU QUEERS

atomicbartbeans@yahoo.com

Life Sucks

I write this in disgust of my friend Matt who can't go on a groovy white water raftage trip this month cause he's under 14. He was supposed to go fo free. Now my parents aren't letting me go cause theres an age restriction and I just turned 14. So theres no fun fo me or Matt. Stupid snow. I wish we hadn't had so dang much of it or the gosh danged river wouldn't be so high.

Guinea Pig

I want a guinea pig. When can I get one? I hope it's soon. I will name the guinea pig. Any good guinea pig names? Write me and I'll add 'em.

First-a-Post (Ats-a spicy meat-a-ball)

Hello all, this is my first post. I like it. It rules just like Lemmiwinks. I am in the library at school writing this, I hope I don't get caught by Mrs. Hummel. I wonder if you can post pictures as well as text? Maybe I can at least provide links to them. I shall post more later.