Defend the Bill of Rights

For those of you who sit around and vegetate all day, instead of studying politics and law like you should, the Bill of Rights is a group of 10 amendments (changes) to the US constitution, which guarantee you the rights comprising the "freedom" generally associated with America. Here it is (pay special attention to Amendments I and IV):

Amendment I.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II.
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III.
No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V.
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI.
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII.
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX.
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

I know it's a little wordy, but it is a very important document. It guarantees you the following:

-> The right to practice religion as you see fit
-> The right to freedom of speech and the press
-> The right to congregate peaceably
-> The right to be secure in your person, property, and possessions
-> The right to a fair trial

It also keeps the government and others from manipulating, swindling, or otherwise taking advantage of you. This truly is, folks, a masterful and elegant document. Although written in the 1700's, we still need to pay attention to it nowadays, as it ensures your rights as an American.

This being said, witness the Patriot Act and the Domestic Terrorism Act. These recent documents from George W. himself were passed by congress and put into general use after September 11th. Although too big to quote here (they're several hundred pages), I'll re-iterate what it lets the government do to you:

-> take your possessions and property without a warrant or reason
-> detaining you for any length of time without a fair trial
-> practice cruel and unusual punishment

Also, it grossly infringes on you right to free speech, and it gives the president dictator-like power in any time he declares an "emergency". Folks, the Patriot Act and Domestic Terrorism Act clearly contradict the Bill of Rights, and are therefore unconstitutional. President Bush needs to be voted out of office, and then indicted for treason. Tell your parents and friends.

For more, visit www.bordc.org

Candid Camera Pranks

How about we go to a clothing stoer... possibly Gap or AE, somethin like that, and hide a walkey talkey in a mannequin? We'd hide in a corenr and make the mannequin insult passers-by.

Any more ideas? Comment on this post to share...

Dumbing Down Children's Programming

Now you can tell I'm really off my rocker... but I think this is a topic worth mentioning.

When I was a wee toddler, I watched good shows... chiefly Sesame Street.



This real-world, well-established in reality television show taught children good stuff they should know, such as:

how to talk
numbers, letters
use your imagination
where ernie is
interpersonal skills
cokies are good to eat
elmo's fish dorothy is smart

The show doesn't use a lot of surreal animation or any hypnotic sounds and images, it is just straightforward, real-world fun, learning basic skills, and meeting freindly, down-to-earth characters. The show has been around since the 60's, and its longevity proves its worth as quality children's programming.

Witness a new arrival on the PBS scene, a curious television show with a childish, immature name, "Booh Bah".



I have some better, more accurately descriptive names for this show; they are too gross to be named here. E-mail or IM me if you'd like to know. This show is a disgrace to quality children's programming; instead of being a fun, real-world show which teaches kids pertinent stuff, it simply mesmerizes them with hypnotic, psychadelic CGI, surreal sounds, and crappy editing. Yes, folks, this is the dumbing down of children's programming. There is little dialogue, just these wobbling hairy boob-like blobs dancing, flying, and making fools out of themselves. Features of the show include children blowing (yes, folks, blowing) while being harassed by the blobs, the blobs flying by expulsion of a gas through their rear end (accompanied by flatulent noises), subliminal pro-homo propaganda, and random people playing nasty tricks on each other. This show, folks, is the dumbing down of childrens programming, designed to distract and mislead from the world rather than to enhance it, or keep the kids occupied while mommy and daddy are in the bedroom not sleeping, to quote a popular sit com (you should be smart enough to figure out which one). Booh Bah, I'll re-iterate, is a distraction, rather than a learning experience. E-mail me if you'd like the protest letter I sent to PBS.

Yes, folks, we need change, so write your local public television station. God speed poncho!

Crab Gone

Sorry about that last post, folks, as I've finally regained control of my blog, and Pebbles is safely back in his cage, plotting his next attempt at world domination with his republican party cohorts.

School starts in less than a month for us, and soon we will plunge into another year of academic drudgery, incompetent and sadistic teachers, and poor lunch food. If you have any chance of surviving and maybe even passing the year, you need some of these:



Yes folks, I'm not joking.

People say pocket protectors are for nerds, but if everybody wore them, they wouldn't. So help out some local nerds, and wear pocket protectors to school. They keep your writing utensils organized while keeping your shirt puncture and stain free.

This is a Nerd Association mandate. If you do not comply, we will hunt you down and give you a pocket protector. If you're wondering where you can find these useful items of cool, stop at your local staples, where they come in 3-packs for under a dollar.

More nerdness soon to come (from me, your favorite nerd)...